Christopher Cwej stared out into the darkness and sighed morosely. This hadn't been one of Bernice's better ideas, he decided.
"You need to get away from it all," she'd said, more interested in marking her mid-term papers than his problems. "Why not go on a long cruise? See the sights! Travel broadens the mind, you know."
"Yeah, I bet. You know what'll happen. I'll be up to my eyeballs in power-crazed maniacs or Daleks or something worse before I know it. I'm not in the mood for wild and dangerous adventures!"
"I know the feeling. How many 'T's in 'equipment' are there?"
"I dunno, five. Do you want to come with me?"
"What? With all this to mark? Off, you furry nuisance!"
"Well if you're going to be like that..."
"I was talking to Wolsey! He always seems to know when I'm marking. Great muddy paws all over everything... seriously, Chris, I can't. All my own gadding about has left me this huge backlog, and I do feel a certain responsibility to those who pay my salary... if not these blasted illiterate students!" She waved her arms at him. "Go off and enjoy yourself! Find some nice, unattached female and chill out, or whatever it is you do with unattached females! Oh no Wolsey, not on there..."
So here he was, on board the good ship Spirit of Rapture, bound for a three-month tour of some of the hot spots of the galaxy. And he wasn't enjoying it one bit.
He just couldn't get into the mood. Sure, the other passengers were nice people. Gay young things from all corners of the system, looking for a little fun, adventure... and romance.
That was the trouble. Oh yes, there were dozens of potential romances on offer, but every time he got chatting, he started to think of her... and the mood vanished. And he'd make his apologies, creep back to his room, dial room service, and get quietly and morbidly drunk.
Or he'd get a bottle and creep up to the observation lounge. Which was where he was now. He looked out through the crystal-clear plexi-glass and raised his bottle of Voxnic to the stars.
"Cheers, Roz..." He took a long swallow and shuddered as the liquid lit a trail down his throat into his stomach. "Missing you..." he murmured. He rested his forehead on the cool surface of the glass and closed his eyes. "It's all so... bleak, and lonely without you. What's wrong with me? I should be past caring... but I'm not. I never will be..."
"Am I interrupting something?"
A quiet voice behind him. Chris opened his eyes and turned slowly around. When he saw who was standing there in the shadows by the door, his heart skipped a beat. "You! It can't be..." he whispered.
"I beg your pardon?" The figure stepped forward. It was a woman, quite young, with dark olive-skin and graceful, almost languid poise. Just for a second there, he really thought... Chris blinked and shook his head.
"Sorry. Just for a minute there you reminded me of someone I once knew."
"Really? Must have been someone special, the way you're looking at me."
Chris blushed and turned his attention back to the star field outside. He cleared his throat. "It's, erm, beautiful out there, isn't it? I often come up here and just, erm, look." He raised his hand to point it out and the bottle in it clunked dully against the glass, splattering his arm with alcohol. The girl giggled, a high, liquid sound in the still air that did funny things to his insides. His blush increased.
"I'm sorry," she said. "I don't mean to embarrass you." She held out a slender hand. "I'm Chayni. Who might you be?"
"Chris. Chris Cwej." Her hand was cool and soft and perfect. Faint alarms bells were already ringing deep within his conscience, but his heart was already doing its best to muffle the sound before it registered too deeply with his brain.
Her perfect features formed into an expression of surprised delight. "Oh, you're Chris Cwej!" She looked him up and down. "I must say, that picture didn't do you credit."
"Picture? You know who I am, then?"
"Oh yes," she purred. "I've been dying to meet you ever since I got here."
"Really? I'm intrigued." That was putting it mildly, he told himself. "I haven't seen you before, have I?"
"No, I suppose you could say I've only just arrived."
"I haven't heard a shuttle dock... oh well. You're very welcome," he smiled.
"Thank you." She stepped up close to him and slowly put her arms around his neck. Chris's eyes widened and his heart began to skip faster. Her eyes were clear and large and brown and she smelt delicious, some sweet and spicy scent that caught the breath. "In fact, you could say I was here just for you..." she grinned, revealing an even row of white, perfect teeth.
"Wow," was all Chris could utter. The bottle of Voxnic slid from his grasp and thudded to the floor, the contents gurgling across the soft plush carpeting. Steam rose softly as the liquid ate through the material.
Behind his neck, Chayni slid a long thin stiletto blade from her sleeve, and pointed it at the base of his neck, tensing her muscles to thrust it into him...
Suddenly the lights began to dim, and the soft, almost melodious background hum of the ship's life support system faded and died, replaced by the faint sound of... rushing wind? Chris stepped back out of her embrace and looked around him. "What's that? What's happening here?"
The girl's reaction was stronger, especially at the sound of that rushing wind. "Oh my God!" she breathed, and looking at her, Chris realised she was completely terrified. She jerked her left arm up and gazed horror-struck at a slim dial on her wrist. "It's them! They've found me!"
"Who? Who's found you?"
"Temporal Crimes Division! So much for Lavarre's shield!" She was fiddling with the dial desperately, and finally slapped it in frustration. "Jammed! I can't even jump back out of here!" She grabbed his arm. "You have a Time Ring, don't you? Come on, quick!"
"Well, er, yes, but..." When Romana gave it to him when he left Gallifrey, he'd promised faithfully that no one else should know he had it. But the girl already knew he had it, and besides, from the way she was behaving, this was a dire emergency. "It's back in my cabin," he said. "Come on!"
He grabbed her hand and started to run towards the door, but they skidded to a halt as a tall robed figure materialised slowly in their path. "Look out!" the girl yelled, shoving him aside and drawing a small weapon from a pocket. She levelled it at the figure and fired. It vanished again in a blizzard of pixels, uttering an unearthly howl of pain. She grabbed his hand and pulled him out through the door into the corridor, breaking into a frantic dash.
"What was that thing?" he panted, trying to keep up.
"TCD! I told you!"
"Who or what are they?"
They paused at an intersection, catching their breath. She eyed the darkened corridors warily, weapon at the ready. "They want to kill me - that's all you need to know! Which way?"
"Down there. Hang on though, you said something about crimes, didn't you?"
"Oh, here we go. You used to be a cop of some sort, didn't you? I apologise for reawakening your detective instincts - look out!"
She shoved him aside again and blasted at another shimmering figure.
"You're some sort of criminal then?"
"Aren't we all?" she said dryly, breaking into a run again.
"Some crimes are worse than others!"
"Can we skip the lesson on morals please, and just get out of here?"
"It's down here... this one, on your right."
They piled into the room. The light flickered on automatically, but it was very dim, forcing Chris to strain to see anything. "What the hell is up with the lights? And why isn't anyone else taking notice of your shooting everything?"
"They've taken the ship out of phase. Everything and everyone else on the ship is frozen, in time."
"Why aren't I?"
"Why indeed! Where's the ring?"
"In the drawer there. But I-"
"It's not here! Are you sure this is the right drawer?"
"Yes, that one. It should be-"
"Would this be what you're looking for?"
They spun round to see a dim figure sitting in a chair on the other side of the room. He reached up and flicked at a table lamp beside him, and it spluttered into life, revealing him more closely. He was a gaunt man in his late fifties, or apparently so, dressed in a long black robe, with a distinctive black skull cap fitted over his grey hair. All he needed was a scythe, and he could have been the Grim Reaper personified. He smiled, and the temperature in the room dropped several degrees.
Chris's Time Ring dangled from one upheld, bony finger.
"Malachi..." the girl breathed, slowly raising her weapon. He tut-tutted at this reaction and shook his head, reaching down to flip open his robe and reveal a waistband lined with complex devices.
"Don't bother, unless you want to incinerate yourself with the ricochet. Admittedly, that would save us a job, but I don't think your young friend would appreciate it."
"Personal force-shield. Of course. I wouldn't expect anything less." Chayni darted her eyes around the room, hunting for an escape route. Chris pushed in front of her.
"Look here, I don't know who you are or what you want, but you can't just barge in here and-"
The man cut in. "Who I am is irrelevant. Who you are, is irrelevant. Who she is, ahhh, now... that's what's relevant. Though I am intrigued as to how such a piece of equipment - antiquated though it may be - fell into your possession."
Chris pressed back against the girl protectively. "What are you going to do to her?"
The man laughed ironically. "How amusing. You don't know anything about her, who she is, what she is, what she's done... and you take her side. It's true, then, what they say about certain Humanian males and a lady in peril!"
"I know that she's terrified of you, and that's all I need to know about you! Anyone good wouldn't evoke such fear!" Chris spat.
"Very noble, I'm sure, but this matter does not concern you. Step away from the girl, I want to see her clearly at all times!" He raised a watch-like communicator on his wrist to his mouth and rapped instructions into it. "I've got her. Room 47, level G. Do cut along, I've a nasty feeling someone is mind for some heroics." He lowered the communicator and glowered menacingly at Chris. "And that wouldn't be healthy at all!"
"Wouldn't it?" said Chris, and he jumped at him.
Maybe the man was taken a little by surprise at the speed of Chris's action, but he was up and out of the chair with a quickness that amazed Chris. But he wasn't quite quick enough, and they tumbled down together onto the floor in a mass of thrashing arms and legs.
Chris was also unpleasantly surprised by the man's strength. He shoved Chris away and aimed a lethal-looking chop at Chris's neck. Chris twisted out of the way but the hand caught him a glancing blow on the temple and he saw stars, losing his grip on the man. He loomed above Chris, arm raised for another blow...
Then he toppled forward with a grunt. Chayni stood above him, one arm swinging to her side after completing its blow. Chris struggled out from beneath the body.
"Thanks!" he gasped, shaking his head to clear the effects. She reached down to help him up.
"Don't mention it," she muttered. The man at her feet started to groan and began to rise feebly. She stepped back and kicked him across the jaw. He collapsed in a boneless heap, finally unconscious - or worse. Chris winced at the violence of the kick.
"Wasn't that a little, erm, extreme?"
"I feel extreme!" she snapped, groping for the Time Ring. "Got it!" Her head snapped round at the sound of footsteps outside, and she snatched up her weapon as well. "Come on, this place will be crawling with them!"
She leapt across to the door and kicked it open, just in time to send the dark-robed man outside it sprawling to the ground. She fired at his fallen body, then snapped a couple more shots down the corridor at the other dark figures who were hurrying towards them, making them dive for cover.
Chris looked down at the body of the man she'd shot with mounting horror. "Who are you really? What are you?"
"No time for explanations - got to get the Ring working! Come on!" She grasped his hand and pulled him down the corridor. There were shouts and yells behind them, then energy bolts started to whiz around them, making them run all the faster...
Chayni skidded to a halt outside one of the big cargo bays and tugged him inside. She hammered at the emergency bulkhead release but it wouldn't operate. She hissed through her teeth. "Damn it!" She looked around the bay and pointed over to a large stack of crates. "Over there. We can shelter in there until I get the Ring working."
They ducked behind the crates. Instantly she got to work on the Ring, while Chris got about heaving the heavy plastic boxes into a better defensive position. Thank the Goddess he'd watched Zulu on Benny's flickering old VCR player before he'd left.
She nodded, almost to herself. "Yes, as I thought... this one being such an old model, it just about slips beneath their bandwidth. Now, if I can just get the right frequency..." she pulled a small, slim case of tools from a pocket and set to work.
"'Old model'? That, erm, rather suggests you're not from this time - right?"
"Inspector Holmes strikes again! No, I'm a wee bit in advance of you." She looked up sharply at the sound of footsteps echoing through the bay. She chewed her lip for a few seconds, deliberating, then handed him her weapon. "Here. I'm going to be too busy on this. Keep me covered."
"I'm not happy about gunning down complete strangers!"
"Good grief... here, it's got a stun setting." In fact it didn't, but she took it and pretended to fiddle with its settings anyway. What the idiot didn't know wouldn't hurt him.
"I really think you ought to tell me who you are. Look, you owe me that much at least - I might die here protecting you after all!"
She looked at his smiling face and realised he genuinely meant it. Malachi wasn't the only one who was confused by the behaviour of Humanian males in certain stress situations involving members of the opposite gender. "You really do mean that, don't you? You'd really kill yourself defending me?" Just so long as you don't get shot in the head, she didn't add.
He looked away, embarrassed. "Well, I'd prefer not to, but..."
"Let me guess, you've always wanted to die saving a beautiful woman. Right?" She'd heard all about what had happened to Hayzel, and she was especially determined not to let the same fate befall her.
But he was kind of cute.
He was silent for a moment. "Right."
She could tell she'd touched a nerve. "Is it me, though, or who you think I am? This friend of yours you were mourning in the observation lounge... the one you mistook me for?"
"I don't know. Maybe! Only..." he hesitated, then blurted: "Only I never got the chance to save her! I wasn't there when it mattered! The one time I should have been there, to protect her, watch out for her..." he fell silent again. "I wasn't."
"She died," she stated, simply.
"Yes." Quietly: "It shouldn't have happened that way."
She patted his shoulder. "Then you'll do your best to make sure it doesn't happen to me, won't you? On your right!" She suddenly shouted.
Chris jerked round and saw a dark shape rushing towards them across the bay. He took aim and fired. The figure fell back and lay still. "More of 'em!" he yelled, as others started to emerge in the gloom.
"Keep them busy! I've nearly got it!" she yelled. And what then, she thought? "I thought I was past caring as well!" she said to herself.
But Chris heard her. Ducking an energy bolt, he chanced a look round at her. "Past caring? Naw, I thought that too. A lot of times! Then something new always crops up to make you care again!"
He smiled at her, and there was something in that smile that made her blanch.
But not as much as she thought she should have.
"Is that what this is?" he shouted over the din. "Your past catching up with you?"
"Something like that!" One last connection...
"They seem to want you awfully bad! Time Lords, aren't they?"
"Yes! But they're very different to the ones you know!"
"Better or worse?"
She laughed, despite herself. "Depends on your point of view!" Damn this sonic wielder! Cheap Martian crap...
"Maybe I can talk to them - some of my best friends are Time Lords! Oi! Hold your fire!" he bellowed, almost scaring the life out of her.
"What? Don't be-"
But to her surprise, the firing slackened, and stopped. Someone stood up - Malachi.
"Have you come to your senses, young human? Turn the girl over, and you'll be allowed to go about your journey." He turned to the man crouching opposite him and muttered: "Or at least as long as it goes before that meteorite hits it in 24 minutes."
"Nothing wrong with my senses, especially my one for justice!"
Malachi chuckled. "Oh, it's justice you want, eh? Well, well... what about the justice for the people she's murdered over the ages?"
"Murdered?" Chris looked down at Chayni.
She just shrugged.
"I'm an assassin," she said simply. "It's not murder. It's business."
"Business!" He shook his head. How did he always find them? "Please tell me it's just that. Please tell me you don't... enjoy it!"
Chayni sighed. "Sometimes... look, Chris. Some of the people I've killed have not been nice people. They've deserved it. When you wipe out some guy who's murdered an entirely species, simply because he's not partial to the God they worship, or their hair colour, or whatever, you feel a certain... satisfaction."
"Some of the people... what about those who don't deserve it?"
She didn't answer.
Malachi's voice drifted across. "Come along, young man, make up your mind. Now or never. Choose!"
"Look, I know some important people on Gallifrey!"
That dry chuckle again. "I'm sure you do."
"President Romana... the Doctor..."
The chuckle became a mocking laugh. "Is that the best you can do? Well, young fellow, President Romana left office centuries ago, and the Doctor, well... I was never keen on fairy stories!" He turned to the man opposite him again. "Recommence firing. Try and avoid killing the boy, if possible. If he knows those two as he claims..."
"Cruk!" Chris dropped down as a bolt sizzled over his head. "Thought I had 'em convinced... how's it coming?"
Chayni's face was a mask of concentration. "It's coming..."
"That's good..." Chris snapped off another shot and was rewarded with a rather asthmatic sounding report. "Because I think the battery is running down!"
She snapped down the cover on the Ring's surface and smiled triumphantly. "Got it!" She looked up at him and frowned. "Don't you want to know who I was sent here to assassinate, then?"
"Nope... none of my business, really, is it? Damn! That's it." He tossed the useless weapon aside. "Out! Don't suppose you've got another?" he asked hopefully.
She fingered her stiletto, then sighed and tucked it away. No time. She'd just have to suffer Lavarre's wraith - if she ever made it back to him. She looked up at him regretfully. "It wouldn't help anyway. Goodbye, Chris. And thanks. I doubt they'll hurt you - much!"
With that she twisted at the Ring and vanished. Chris jumped up, face draining of colour, mouth gaping with shock. "Chayni! No!"
Running footsteps. The clicking and whirring of a multitude of weapons behind him. Chris turned slowly, arms raised. He managed a weak smile. "Women, eh? Can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em!"
Malachi stepped forward. His jaw was swollen by a livid purple bruise, accentuating his dark scowl. "She got away." He applauded ironically. "Well played, young man. Gave her just enough time, eh?"
"I guess so," he shrugged, thrusting his hands in his pockets. "Frankly, I'm finally past caring."
Malachi smiled grimly. "You will be." He nodded to his men. "To hell with the asteroid, and his so-called friends. Kill him now."
The Time Lords took aim. Chris braced himself. "Sorry Benny. Sorry, Doc. Sorry, Romana." He looked up towards the heavens. "Hello, Roz..." He closed his eyes.
He felt a breeze beside him. Something grabbed his arm. There were sudden yells, shouting, and gunfire...
Then silence.
***
"Open your eyes, you big dummy!"
Chris opened one cautiously. To his immense surprise, and not inconsiderable relief, he found he was somewhere else. Long rows of metal shelves filled his view, filled with a variety of incomprehensible objects. An immensely tall, thin blue humanoid in a white smock with a red baseball cap balanced precariously on its pointed head blinking at Chris curiously through three green eyes. A lapel badge read: CALL ME XX'THYUIGHGGGH'THRRIPP.
"Is this Heaven?"
The humanoid snorted, and spoke in a low gurgling voice: "This is Haberdashery, sir. If it's heaven you want, try our restaurant. Grundian Blood-Nog on special today!" Then it turned and plodded back down the aisle.
Another voice drifted from beside him. "This is, as close as I can tell, a Mega-Mart on Rison 6. It was as far from our original position as I could jump us."
Chris looked round at the woman standing beside him. "Ros?" he asked hopefully.
"No, it's Chayni. Has anyone ever told you you've got a fixation?"
"A few people, but nobody I've ever taken seriously. You saved me, didn't you?"
"Yeah, well, I thought maybe after that kick I gave him, Malachi wouldn't have been in a forgiving mood. Looks like I was right."
A big grin was spreading slowly across his face. "You came back for me! You do care!"
She backed slowly away, alarmed by the expression on his face. "Now look... don't get the wrong idea. I might need your help. You were pretty useful back there in that fight, and I'm not as used to this time stream as I should be. I can't go back to where I came from with this Ring, and even if I could, I'd probably lead the TCD right back home, which wouldn't please my employer one little bit." She knew exactly how she could please him, which was another good reason to keep him close at hand. If she ever found a way back - or rather forward. "Don't go getting all emotional on me. This is strictly business!" she rapped. "You look after me, I look after you!"
"Business, my eye!" He whooped and grabbed her in a big bear hug.
"Whoof! Lemme go, I can't breath!"
He was laughing, and she found she was laughing too. "This is serious!" she said between stifled giggles.
"I know!" he laughed.
"Malachi will be after us!"
"Yes!"
"It'll be terribly dangerous!"
"Of course!"
"We'll be fugitives!"
"Great!"
"This isn't funny at all!"
"Then why are you laughing too?"
"I don't know... I just don't know!" She really didn't know why she was laughing. It was such a stupid situation. She was supposed to kill this guy, and yet... well, it might be fun. Certain carnivorous feline species played with their prey before killing them, didn't they? This was sort of the same thing. It would certainly be challenging. And Chayni loved challenges.
Especially tall, good looking blond ones.
Chris looked down at her, chest heaving with mirth. His growing feelings towards the girl were conflicting with his old Adjudicator instincts, that were telling him this girl was trouble - serious trouble, especially if the Time Lords were involved. Doctor, where are you when I need you... maybe that was the answer. He'd know... he had to be involved, didn't he? Then he could be sure. Yes, he'd get the Doctor's opinion. If she were bad, he'd make sure she got sent back for trial - a fair trial. Wouldn't he...?
They looked at each other, blissfully unaware of what each other was thinking, and then cracked up again, laughing for different reasons, all semblance of self-control gone.
The tall blue humanoid looked round at them and rolled all three of its eyes.
"Humans," it muttered disgustedly, and then got on with its stock-take.
***
Malachi rubbed the bruise on his jaw reflectively as he stood in his superior's office. It wasn't that that hurt so much, it was having his reputation tarnished in such a foolish way, especially in front of his new commander. He'd worked hard to get this far. It wouldn't take much to fall back again - for good.
Or worse.
"They got away, then." She didn't look up from her cross-stitch.
He cleared his throat. "Yes, ma'am. They used a Time Ring given to the young human allegedly by former President Romana. Being an older model, the girl was evidently able to alter its frequency to get through our local transduction barrier."
"Hmmm, yes." She looked up briefly. "One of the many unusual sanctions she permitted. Ah well. It caught up with her in the end. I presume you haven't given up the hunt?"
"No, ma'am. We've followed their trace to the Rison system, and I have agents posted on all its' planets looking out for them." He paused a moment, then added: "It's only a matter of time."
The woman nodded absently, still more interested in her cross-stitch. "Very good, Malachi. Keep me informed of events."
"Ma'am." He took a step back towards the door, then hesitated.
"Something more, Malachi?"
"Well, ma'am... I noticed there was a lot more temporal activity than usual. Especially in the vicinity where we suspect the renegade is operating from. It struck me that the girl might not be the only one operating at this time." The woman didn't respond, so he pressed on. "I thought perhaps I might deploy a few more men around, see if we can't-"
"No, Malachi," she snapped, looking up at him sharply. "I cannot afford to free any more of our forces for what might amount to a wild goose chase. I am fully aware of the increased temporal activity." She plucked at a loose thread. "And it is fully under control." She gave him a wintery smile. "Close the door on your way out, won't you?"
She waited until the door had closed, then: "You do have the situation under control, don't you?"
"Of course I do." The quiet voice drifted from behind the exquisitely embroidered drape - her own work - that covered the entrance to her inner sanctum. The drape parted and he shuffled into the room and sat down opposite her desk. "You don't have to worry about that. Christopher shall remain safe so long as the girl needs his help in evading your people, though I rather feel," he chuckled, "that his winning ways may have a reforming effect on the child."
"Hmmm. You're quite sure you don't need my assistance? Lavarre and his... people, are quite formidable."
"It's nothing I can't handle, I can assure you." He brushed at a speck on his trousers. "I would prefer to deal with this in my own way."
"You're taking this a little personally, if you don't mind me saying."
"Lavarre has made it a personal matter." He leaned forward, eyes flashing angrily behind his heavy rimmed spectacles. "It's between him and I. You needn't get involved any further, thank you."
She took the hint. "Very well. I suppose I owe you that much. And if anyone is capable of finally dealing with Lavarre, it's you. But if you should need assistance..." her face softened slightly. "You still have friends on Gallifrey, Doctor."
He gave her a small but significant smile of acknowledgement, then stood up and bowed. "Thank you, Madam Chancellor." He put his hat back on and turned to leave. "Oh yes," he said, smiling slightly. "Congratulations on your promotion, Maydred. I'm glad to see that the new administration is capable of making some sensible decisions, at least."
"Thank you, Doctor. Good luck."
He slipped away. She picked up her cross-stitch, studied it for a moment, then put it down and reached for her pipe instead. She puffed on it for a moment, savouring the taste of the heavy, bittersweet smoke.
"You're going to need it."
Next: I Lost my Heart to a Starship Trooper
