It was a beautifully sunny day, and the TARDIS had landed smack in the middle of the lushest, greenest meadow that Sarah had ever seen. London could wait, wherever they were.

"Ah! A pleasant spot." The Doctor pulled the door of the TARDIS to, and jammed his brown felt hat determinedly onto his head. "Smells like Earth."

"Perhaps we're in Kent?"

"The TARDIS seemed slightly uncommunicative. If we find someone, we can get directions."

He strode off towards a corner of the meadow, with a wooden gate just visible. Sarah followed, breathing deeply of the freshest air she'd come across in ages.

***

The country lane down which they walked was equally quiet. Sarah hoped the Doctor would be able to remember where he had parked the TARDIS, when they had to get back to it.

Finally, a horse and carriage tootled up to them.

"Hello, there!" called out the horseman. "Are you on your way to see the King, too?"

"King?" exclaimed Sarah.

"Yes, we are," improvised the Doctor. "We somewhat underestimated the journey, though..."

"Well, you seem like good people. Get in the carriage, it'll save your feet."

"Thank you, good Sir. After you, Sarah..?"

***

The carriage turned out to be occupied by Derla, daughter of the horseman. Lord Kallack, no less. She was soon buttered up by 'Lady' Sarah and 'Lord' Doctor. They claimed to have been visiting foreign lands for many months, and were unaware of the current state of play in this land.

It turned out that Kallack was making a deputation to the King to urge him to re-think something Derla pronounced as the Commoner agricultural policy. Sarah, understandably, did a double-take at the name.

"Since he became King, many of our traditional industries have become lost," she continued. "He issued an edict of beasts which it was now forbidden to make into food. He also turned much of the Royal Court's energy into a campaign to plant many woods, and issued an edict of plants which he forbade the cultivation of." She sighed. "One does miss hollyhocks. Chrysanthemums are all very well, but fields and fields of them do rather become too familiar."

"What about daffodils?" asked the Doctor, whom Sarah thought seemed unusually concerned.

"Forbidden, " she sighed. "We scarcely see daisies, or petunias, or roses."

"Nettles?" asked Sarah, long memories spiked by the prospect.

"Alas, no." She smiled. "Perhaps that is a good thing, they are such a ferocious bloom."

"The King has no problems with grass, I see."

"No, and we grow corn for food. Many gardens are now mere grass. It is said that the King favours grass for its simplicity."

"Hmm, that would make sense."

They heard the crunch of stones beneath the carriage wheels.

"We are here!" exclaimed Derla, excitedly. "The Royal Palace!"

***

Lord Kallack found himself accompanied by the Doctor, whilst Sarah undertook her whispered orders to keep a close eye on Derla.

"You think she's in danger?"

"Not necessarily. But she will probably be a mine of information, and the more we have, the more we can do." With that, he walked after Kallack.

Derla squeaked with excitement.

"There's Lord Querta! He is said to be the most handsome Lord in all the land!"

Sarah was convinced, particularly as he didn't remind her of anyone she'd ever seen before. He was coming their way, too...

"Well, well, I don't believe I've had the pleasure..?"

"My lord! The pleasure is all ours!"

"I am the Lady Sarah, and this is the Lady Derla."

"I am enchanted by your beauties, and delighted to make your acquaintance. I am the Lord Querta, special advisor to our noble King, Trevor."

Sarah nearly sniggered at the mention of the King's name. All these extravagant and grandiose names, and the King... oh dear.

"May I assume you ladies are here on pleasure, or..?"

"Lady Derla is here with her father, who is on business."

"And you..?"

Keep calm, Sarah, you're above this. "I am with... my uncle, who also has business with the King."

"Really? Then I am indeed fortunate to have made your friendships! Come, if you are fresh to the Palace, you will have had a long journey. We shall get you some food, and wine!"

Then again, thought Sarah, it pays to know the people with the food.

***

Kallack was regarding the Doctor with new respect.

He had found his way to the King's Secretary, Duke Bloth, and made his case for a Royal audience, and the wish to discuss his estate.

Bloth had taken 10 seconds to tell him - no chance.

That was when the Doctor had gone to work. He had managed to concoct some tale (and Kallack suspected that was all it was) that he was a visiting scientist, drawn by the King's radical attitude to horticulture, and had very little time, so could he please be admitted, and he promised he wouldn't waste too much of the Royal time? Oh, and Kallack had to come in, too.

Bloth opened the door, and announced "Lords Doctor, and Kallack!"

The Doctor grinned at Kallack, and gestured that he should enter first.

***

Querta had soon made plain his plans. Derla was a friendly enough person, but he only had eyes (and hands) for Sarah.

He had told her all about his estate, which was apparently situated just south of the palace they were in, and had made it pretty plain that there was a vacancy at the head of the operation... for the right applicant.

"What do you do with your estate? Keep pets?"

"I used to," he replied. "But then when the King started banning crops left, right and centre, it became impossible. The beasts will not live on grasses. They turned on each other." He threw back a drink, and Sarah could see that underneath his arrogance, there beat a conscience.

"It must have been hard for you."

"My chief landsman could not bring himself to destroy beasts he had nurtured from infancy. So... someone had to kill them, Lady. I am sorry to burden you with such matters, it really is poor of me."

"Don't worry, your Lordship. It is quite normal to take care of those in your custody, whether man or beast. To take a life... any life... when it is unnecessary, will only place a great weight on your heart."

He smiled at her words. "Oh, lady, where have you been hiding? I have longed to meet and talk with someone such as you. It is hard here, all the men have hearts of stone, all the women have heads of hay."

Sarah raised her eyebrows at that. "Well, in the land I come from, there is more trust and understanding amongst men and women." Some of them, anyway, she thought.

"Oh, how my mind revels at the thought of a land of people as wise and as beautiful as you, Lady."

She smiled, rather bashful at the idea, and took another drink.

***

Kallack was a Royalist at heart. Had been ever since he was able to talk, to look at pictures of the Royal Family. No-one before from his family had been presented to Royalty. Now, thanks to a stranger, he was walking into the company of his Royal masters.

The Doctor walked straight up to the King, and shook his hand. "I'm very pleased to meet you, I have something very important to talk to you about."

King Trevor just gaped at this stranger, who appeared to behave like an escaped lunatic. He looked for relief to Kallack, who stepped forward lest he become completely overlooked by the Doctor.

"Your Majesty, I wish to speak to you about your horticultural policy."

"Do you?" the Doctor interrupted before the King could even draw breath. "That's a good coincidence, because that's pretty much what's bothering me, too. Please, continue."

By now neither Kallack nor Trevor were in any doubt about the Doctor's attitude. It brought them together somewhat, united by their relative calmness.

"Well, your majesty, I come from an estate to the North of your palatial residence, and we are experiencing difficulties. There are reports of imminent food shortages, and our farmers claim that... well, that nature is out of step."

"That's terrible!" Again, the Doctor had leaped in. It seemed that this was news to him, which King Trevor found strange, assuming they were in cahoots. But now he had turned away.

"So, it is my reluctant duty to ask that your majesty might reconsider his plans, in relation to the news I have brought to bear."

"Reconsider my plans?" It was the first time he had spoken, and it rather struck a republican chord that Kallack hadn't realised he had within him. It was nothing more than an annoying squeak. "Out of the question!"

***

"What does the King do? Does he grow his plants, or does he keep beasts, too? Lady Derla told my uncle and I on our way here about his attitude to plants."

Querta looked around. Derla had busied herself with some young fool, and was in the midst of some fiendish jig. No-one else was listening to their talk.

"Between ourselves, Lady - the young King is an idiot." He looked around nervously again. Sarah presumed that treason was his source of danger.

"You disagree with his plans, then?" He seemed reticent, so she decided there was always one way to draw people out. "It does seem a rather extreme method of control."

"He will be remembered as the murderer of our lands, Lady. A vile buffoon who has blackened the name and heritage of his predecessors. He may be the last in his line, for no-one will tolerate a continuation of this madness."

Sarah was somewhat taken aback by the ferocity of his tone. Clearly, he had been needing to let off steam for quite a while.

"What are you going to do?"

***

"Your Majesty."

Kallack had rather had the wind taken out of his sails by Trevor's intransigent attitude. Clearly, what he had been told about the King's demeanour was true, but it foretold no success for his mission.

"Yes?"

The Doctor smiled at the King's forgetting of his name. Or perhaps he was the same with everyone, and it simply reinforced his status and belief.

"You must change your plans, your majesty. They simply won't work."

Kallack was glad he had sat down on a chaise-longue. If the Doctor had the same approach to the King as he had done with almost everyone else they'd met, this might be a sight to see.

"How dare you speak like that to me!?"

"Oh, it's a gift, I assure you. I have considerable experience with flora, your majesty, and I can tell you categorically that your plans have thrown this land's eco-system into mad chaos. By destroying plant lines, you upset the whole delicate balance of nature. In the short run, insects and animals and other plants that feed from your proscribed list, will themselves die out. In the long run, your populace will have to adapt, or grow new synthetic and unnecessary food substitutes." He paused to grin. "And as any economist will tell you, your majesty, in the very long run, you will all be dead. Only, there won't be any descendants, because they will all be dead, too."

"Are you threatening me?"

"Your majesty, all I'm doing is telling you facts. Relevant facts. It is you who has caused all the trouble."

"I've never been so insulted - "

"I can quite categorically tell you that unless you rescind your proscription, and if necessary, abdicate-"

"Abdicate?"

"A u-turn wouldn't normally be a problem, but your attitude is too entrenched. Though the necessary move, it would appear a frightful climbdown."

Kallack watched as this mysterious man switched from green-fingered demagogue to political mandarin. It was quite extra-ordinary.

Then the door opened.

***

Querta had looked into Sarah's eyes, and suddenly so many thoughts slotted into place. He could scarcely understand why it had taken him so long to see what now seemed so crystal clear.

"Forgive me, lady," he said, and then kissed her on the mouth.

As Sarah recovered, she saw Querta striding towards the doors through which the Doctor and Kallack had gone before.

Querta was going to see the King.

Coming to her senses, she grabbed Derla by the wrist, and dragged her in his wake.

***

"Your Majesty! I demand an audience!"

The Doctor was silenced by the newcomer, and Kallack wondered whether this was going to get nasty.

"I know you! You're my special advisor!"

"Yes! And I have some very special advice for you!" Querta marched straight up to the King.

Kallack and the Doctor were momentarily distracted by more movement at the door, but it was only Sarah and Derla, coming to watch.

"Get back to your ghastly revel, Querta, I do not wish to speak to you."

"Then you have poor fortune," was the brutal reply, and he grabbed the King by the throat. "Fool! You are destroying our land, and you don't care! You deserve the worst pain!"

The Doctor swiftly grasped Querta's arms, pulling them behind him. "This is not the way. The King must realise his mistakes, or else the recriminations will be every bit as bad."

The tension in Querta's arms faded, and he strode over to stand by Kallack.

The Doctor stared into Trevor's eyes. "I did warn you. Your subjects are unhappy, and you must meet their wishes, or you forfeit your right to govern."

Blood had rushed to Trevor's face. "They all deserve to die, I should order-"

"No! There is no need to kill, there has already been too much waste here. You must abdicate. Who is next in line?"

"He has no heritage, Doctor," replied Kallack. "It is said that he would have to appoint someone to take over, in the event of his death."

"Oh, splendid. Well, your majesty, make your mind up. What will you do?"

The King looked into all their faces, one by one. He finished up looking at Kallack. "You are all mad - unfit to rule!" He rose from his seat, shoulders drooped "I must speak to Bloth, he will remove you all..."

"No! You must end this madness now!"

Angered by the Doctor's words, Trevor gave a sudden cry of rage, and ran over to the open window. Before they could stop him, he threw himself out.

The Doctor was first to the sill. "Well, that settles that. Come on, Sarah, we're late, and getting later."

Derla stepped forward, and her father embraced her. "Well, this has been a surprising day, hasn't it?"

Querta looked down at his dead King. "Good riddance to bad rubbish."

***

The Doctor and Sarah caught a lift with a carriage going north.

"Who do you think they will make King?"

"Kallack, perhaps. Querta could talk Bloth around, if he and Kallack work together. Perhaps poor Trevor will get respect in the history books."

"It's a brutal business."

"It's extrapolated garden management. Weeds mustn't be allowed to thrive."

"Do you see yourself as a gardener, then?"

He grinned at her. "Gardens aren't always peaceful, you know."