"Wow," said Sarah.

"Oh, I say," murmured Harry.

The Doctor poked his head out from behind the TARDIS doors and peeked questioningly at his two companions. "Is it all right? Not too parochial for you?"

Sarah tore her gaze from the rolling meadows and vast expanses of lush green woodland lit by a warm golden sun to smile at the Doctor in amazement and pleasure. She didn't know how he did it sometimes. Every day produced a fresh surprise. Travelling with him for so long now, she thought she might have grown accustomed to it, but she never did. Perhaps that was why she enjoyed staying with him.

But if she, a seasoned time-traveller now, was surprised, what of Harry? She only knew a little of his background but even a career in the Royal Navy, travelling to ports and shores all over the world, couldn't have prepared him for this. She found herself giggling at the look of bewildered joy on his face.

"Parochial? Doctor, this is... well..." Harry waved feebly over the majestic scenery, lost for words.

A slow grin spread across the Doctor's face as he registered his companions' delight. "Mmmm, isn't it just?" The Doctor tapped Sarah on the arm. "Sarah, why don't you and Harry have a little explore?"

Sarah frowned at him slightly. The Doctor was full of surprises, and their travels together produced a lot of adventures, but not all those surprises and adventures were of an enjoyable nature - though things usually worked out well in the end. They always did with the Doctor. It was one of the few constants in her life, and she drew a lot of strength from it.

"Are you sure it's okay here? How do we know those woods aren't swarming with Cybermen or Wirrrn or some other nasty?"

The Doctor stepped forward through the doors, giving them both a little shove ahead of him. He bugged his eyes and put on what she called his shucks, who me? expression. She'd seen it a lot, usually before he opened some spaceship door and a monster sprang out.

"Sarah, Sarah, I can positively guarantee that this planet is completely safe."

"Been here before, Doctor?" asked Harry.

Sarah rolled her eyes. "What does that prove? He'd been to Skaro before, and look what happened then!" warned Sarah.

"This isn't Skaro, Sarah," admonished the Doctor. "This is the third planet in the Lantares system, which I'm sure you both know is shielded from the rest of the galaxy by an extremely potent magnetic belt."

They both gazed at him blankly. Unabashed he continued.

"No, it remains totally unspoilt for millennia. I like to pop back every now and again for a bit of a roam."

"This belt thing doesn't effect you though," said Sarah.

"Of course not," replied the Doctor grandly. "I'm a Time Lord. I can go anywhere!"

"Except to where you're supposed to be!" muttered Sarah.

"It smells wonderful," remarked Harry, taking a lungful of crisp, clean air. "Not a hint of pollution."

The Doctor grinned. "And there won't be. This planet remains unfettered by technology for centuries."

"Are there people?" asked Sarah doubtfully. That's usually where the trouble began.

"Of course," declared the Doctor. "But you don't have to worry. They're usually too busy fighting among themselves to worry about visitors."

"Fighting among..." Sarah groaned. "Oh Doctor. You mean to say you've landed us in the middle of another blessed battlefield?"

"Does this look like a battlefield, Sarah?" he smiled. He shook his head. "You needn't fear. It's a very feudal society here. Lots of barons and landowners fighting for the right to control the land, that sort of thing." The Doctor jammed his hands in his pockets and pulled a face. "Rather childish, really."

"Sort of like, Wars of the Roses, that sort of thing?" asked Harry.

"Sort of, Harry, yes." He patted both of their shoulders comfortingly. "It's perfectly safe. The warriors operate to strict code of chivalry that means they won't attack or harm anyone they're not fighting. Just remember though," and he tapped Harry's chest meaningfully, "not to give them cause to do so!"

At that he turned and disappeared back into the TARDIS.

Harry exchanged a pained glance with Sarah. "Why did he say that to me?"

Sarah giggled, and took his arm. "Harry, I couldn't even begin to imagine why!"

"Well, I think - hullo, what's he doing now?"

The Doctor emerged from the TARDIS staggering under a variety of objects, including several bright yellow deck chairs with 'Property of Blackpool Pleasure Beach' stamped across them, a gaily-coloured sun-umbrella with stand, and a large carpetbag. Before his companions' astonished gaze he plonked the bag down, set up a deck chair and the umbrella, and went back into the TARDIS before they could even say a word. He returned a few seconds later pushing out a large, old-fashioned tea trolley, laden with cups, saucers, a large brown teapot, a large three layered cake stand covered by a clear plastic dome, and a few other cake-laden plates. He looked at it blankly for a moment.

"What's missing?"

As if in answer a shrill whistling sound began to emanate from the carpetbag. "Ah ha!" he cried, reached down and opened the carpetbag up. A puff of steam floated up and gingerly the Doctor produced a large copper kettle, followed by a bottle of milk, which he placed on the trolley before him. Then he dropped heavily into the deck chair, put his hands behind his head and pushed his hat rakishly forward over his brow, grinning up at them as if he were the master of all he surveyed.

Harry boggled at the sight before him. "What on earth..."

"Elevenses!" the Doctor boomed. "And what better spot for it!"

Sarah started to laugh. Harry shot her an uncertain look. He was beginning to have grave doubts about the mental state of his two travelling companions, and began to worry about whether or not it would rub off onto him.

"Elevenses, yes..." Harry looked at his wristwatch. "But, er, according to my watch, it's 2.15 in the afternoon."

The Doctor looked up at Harry gravely. "It's 11 o'clock somewhere in the universe, Harry. Perhaps your watch is wrong."

"Wrong? It's Swiss!" He looked at it again and paused. "It's stopped," he said hesitantly.

The Doctor grinned. "That's time for you, Harry," he remarked simply. "It knows when teatime is better than any of us."

Sarah could see the confusion spreading across Harry's face and took his arm and started to pull him away from the TARDIS down the meadow towards the woods below them. The young medic wasn't as blasé to the Doctor's apparent gibberish as she was. "Come on Harry... let's go for a stroll, shall we?"

"Oh, do!" boomed the Doctor delightedly, lifting the lid of the tea pot up to pour some hot water in. "This will take a while to brew, so why not work an appetite up? There are plenty more cakes where these came from."

"Where did he get them from?" hissed Harry as he stumbled along behind Sarah.

"Where does he get any of his stuff from?" Sarah laughed. "Come on - last one up a tree is a Sontaran!"

She ran down the hill towards the trees, laughing as she went. Harry shook his head.

"Mad, the both of them... hey, what did you just say?"

Harry started to run after her.

***

The Doctor watched them disappear into the woods with a dry chuckle. It was high time they had a little break from things. As much as he loved action and adventure, there were times when one simply had to sit back, relax, and have a good brew up. There was simply nothing quite like enjoying a cup of tea and a cake with some splendid company on a glorious day like this. Simply nothing!

He was reaching back into the carpetbag for the sugar when he heard soft footsteps in the field below him and he looked up. He blinked.

A large ostrich-like creature, with a long tall neck, was padding gracefully along the meadow, pausing here and there to crop at the grass with its beak. It realised it was being watched and looked up at the Doctor warily. It had a plumed, silvery helmet on top of its head, and a large leather saddle across it back. A blue pennant floated behind it in the soft breeze.

"Hello," called the Doctor.

The creature gave a low chirp and blinked at him. The Doctor held up a plate.

"Would you like a macaroon?"

The creature continued to blink at him, then whipped its head round to gaze behind it. The Doctor heard a distant shout. The creature chirped again, and began bounding gracefully along the meadow. The Doctor watched it depart, puzzled.

"Maybe I should have offered it a digestive."

More footsteps thumped along. A tall figure clad from head to toe in silver armour, not unlike an old-fashioned knight, clattered into view. It came to a stop just below the Doctor and shook a gauntlet in the direction of the disappearing bird and bellowed in a voice hoarse from running:

"Cheldo! Return! Cheldo! Wretched Avarian."

The knight suddenly became aware he was being watched and swung round.

"Hello!" called the Doctor.

"Hello," replied the knight, uncertainly.

The Doctor held up the plate again. "Would you care for a macaroon? Or I've digestives, if you prefer. Or fruit cake." The Doctor beamed at him hopefully.

"Cake?" said the knight, clanking up the hill towards him. He stopped and slowly pushed his helmet visor up. A thin face with a straggly goatee beard gazed back at the Doctor.

"Yes, cake." The Doctor mimed raising a slice to his mouth and smacked his lips appreciatively. "I was about to have some with my tea. Would you care to join me?"

"Tea," repeated the knight, coming over to the Doctor and looking at him, puzzled.

The Doctor lifted the pot and poured some into one of the cups. "Tea," the Doctor also repeated, holding it up. Aromatic steam drifted up from it and the knight's nose twitched.

"Drink?" said the knight.

"That's the usual strategy," suggested the Doctor.

The knight accepted the cup and saucer, presenting an incongruous sight. He delicately picked up the cup by its handle between the forefinger and thumb of his massive gauntlets and raised it to his face. He sniffed again, and raised an eyebrow. He took a small sip. He raised a second eyebrow, and took a longer sip.

When he lowered the cup, he was smiling. He placed the cup gently back on the saucer and beamed at the Doctor.

"Excellent beverage, sir. Did you say you have macaroons?"

***

Syre Vainlagge of the House Pyeridium walked his steed carefully along the lower meadow, eyes scanning the area careful for any sign of his mortal enemies. He paid close attention to the tree-line. It wasn't unknown for one of the lesser Syres to launch a missile attack, though it wasn't quite the style of the foes he was facing today. Haddgald, Votther, Trespeld and the others were despicable pretenders to his rightful position and mindless chumps to boot but they weren't the sorts to shoot a man down from afar. They did the things the old way, man-to-man, steel against steel. Come the end of today, their metal would be tested and then only one would remain to claim that which was rightfully theirs.

His steed chirped suddenly and thrust its bony head forward at something. Vainlagge reached up and patted its head. "Easy, Rayzer, easy... what have you spotted now?"

Vainlagge shielded his eyes from the sun and peered up at the object sitting on the slope above him. It was a large blue box with a lamp on its roof. Sitting outside it were two figures in low chairs. The sound of agreeable conversation drifted on the breeze. Vainlagge squinted to make out who the figures were; one was a tall man with a huge scarf coiled around his neck and a wide brimmed hat jammed low on a mop of curly hair. The other figure was...

"Haddgald!" he bellowed, and spurred his steed into a charge.

"Vainlagge!" squawked the other knight, struggling and failing to get out of the deckchair. The infernal contraption was not designed for easy movement out of. He had to settle for drawing his sword and waving it feebly at the other man as he approached at speed towards him.

"Haddgald! Now I have you!" Vainlagge drew his sword as well and swung it low, aiming to pierce the prone man's chest...

The Doctor leapt to his feet and jumped in the way, arms raised. Vainlagge was only just able to reign his steed in in time to prevent the man from being skewered instead.

"Now just wait a minute," the Doctor boomed. "You can't just come charging up here like this an interrupt a man's cup of tea like this!" The Doctor fixed Vainlagge's eyes with his own. "It's terrible bad form, you know," he muttered warningly.

Vainlagge blinked and slowly lowered his sword. "I'm sorry..." he muttered lamely. Then he blinked again and shook his head. "What... what is the meaning of this!" he spluttered, angry again.

"Meaning?" repeated the Doctor. "Why, there's no meaning. It's just tea!" He held up a cup. "Would you like some?"

Vainlagge looked down at Haddgald, who nodded.

"It's good stuff, Vainlagge. Better than that muck you serve from your kitchens," he added, waspishly.

Vainlagge started to swell with anger. "My kitchens are the stuff of legend! Why, compared to yours..."

"Gentlemen, gentlemen!" The Doctor stepped in again. "I can see that you have some differences between you. And in my experience, there aren't many differences that can't be solved with a quiet, friendly chat over a pot of tea or two." He looked from one man to the other. "Hmmm? Hmmm?"

Vainlagge still looked dubious. Haddgald held up a plate.

"He's got macaroons," he said.

Vainlagge's eyes lit up, and he clambered clumsily down from his steed. "Well, why didn't you say..."

***

Five minutes later they were all enjoying a cup of tea and a cake together. The Doctor returned to the TARDIS for a fresh supply of macaroons when he heard a yell and saw another figure charging towards them on one of the ostrich-like mounts, sword in the air. Haddgald and Vainlagge both made to jump up, but again the deck chairs impeded their progress. The Doctor blinked at the new intruder with bemusement.

"'Tis Trespeld!" muttered Haddgald.

"Aye! The bloodiest one of the lot," Vainlagge hissed.

"The dreaded Black Knight of Usque!" continued Haddgald. "How he ever got involved here..."

"I know not. 'Tis all the fault of that fool Votther... something he said about his sister!"

Haddgald shuddered. "Not a family to be trifled with. They say he killed over 600 men last season alone."

"Really?" murmured the Doctor thoughtfully. "Definitely sounds like a man who needs a cuppa then!" The Doctor waved the man on. "Hullo!" he called.

The newcomer brought his steed to a halt and jumped down, swinging his sword through the air menacingly. He was an impressive figure in his jet-black armour, a crimson plume swaying in the air above his helmet. He paused before the trio and slowly pushed his visor back. Frosty blue eyes glared out at them above a face full of a magnificent jet-black beard. Haddgald and Vainlagge practically quaked before him, and even the Doctor took a step back, so formidable did he appear.

The black knight studied each of them carefully. "Now then," he drawled placidly. "What's to do here?"

"Tea?" said the Doctor hopefully, holding a cup up.

***

"The Doctor will be worried - we've been gone over an hour."

Sarah and Harry emerged from the woods and started to hurry back up the grassy slope towards the TARDIS.

Harry looked sheepish. "I said I was sorry... you were the one who fell down that bank, not me."

"Yeah, but who climbed up onto the branch I was sitting on and broke it? And who landed on top of me?"

"I was trying to lean down and pull you out, old girl..."

"Nearly yanked my arm off to begin with!"

"That's gratitude, I must say!" he spluttered. "Got you out in the end, though, didn't I?" He felt his back gingerly. "You wear very hard shoes, Sarah Jane... I swear my vertebrae has a few extra lumps on it!"

"Well they probably match the ones on my head!" she hissed, rubbing her scalp reflectively.

"Oh, a bit of ointment will set you up right," Harry declared breezily. He suddenly stopped and grabbed Sarah's arm. "Uh-oh - looks like the Doctor has company."

To Sarah's surprise, she saw what looked like half a dozen men in shining armour, all gathered around the outside of the TARDIS. Sarah's first thought was that the Doctor was under attack, but then she heard his laugh booming out and the faint sound of friendly conversation.

"What is going on?" she whispered.

"Can't leave him alone for a minute, can we?" remarked Harry. Sarah shot him a black look and hurried up towards the TARDIS. "What?" said Harry, puzzled.

***

"Goodbye, goodbye... do drop by again!"

The Doctor was waving farewell to the knights as they all headed back towards their steeds. Vainlagge had kindly offered to give Haddgald a ride on the back of his steed, at least until the others had helped track his missing mount.

Vainlagge held out a hand as he passed. "Thank you Doctor, and goodbye... thanks awfully for the tea." He held his other hand up, which contained a rolled-up chart of the area. "You know, I think these new boundaries will really work!"

There was a chorus of approval from the others. The Doctor shrugged modestly.

"Well, if it'll bring a little peace to this wonderful land of yours, I'm only too happy to have helped point a few things out."

"That you have, sir - thank you." Haddgald shook the Doctor's hand too. "Do come by my castle next time you're in the area." The other knights murmured similar invitations, and the Doctor nodded and smiled graciously.

"And don't forget to bring some more of those excellent macaroons!" called Votther. They all laughed at that.

Votther and Trespeld were walking side by side as they passed by Sarah and Harry on their way back to their mounts.

"I am most dreadfully sorry about what I said about your sister, old boy," said Votther apologetically. "But I thought what she was carrying was some sort of primate, not your nephew."

Trespeld sighed. "Alas, an old family curse... the blighter will grow out of it, in time, as I did."

"You too? Gosh..."

The pair nodded at Sarah and Harry as they passed, then they mounted their steeds and set off slowly after Vainlagge and the others. The Doctor paused from collecting the empties to give a final farewell wave as the knights slipped away, friendly conversation and laughter drifting in their wake.

"Well done, Doctor," he muttered, pleased with himself.

"What's been happening here then?" asked Sarah, as she and Harry came up to the trolley.

"Hmm?" The Doctor looked up absently. "Oh, hullo Sarah Jane. Harry. Had a nice walk?"

Sarah shot a glance at her companion. "Walk, yes..."

The Doctor frowned, and reached forward and plucked a twig from inside her jacket. He looked at it, then her, then Harry, questioningly.

Sarah felt herself blushing. "We, er, fell down."

The Doctor looked directly at Harry. "Did you, now..."

Harry cleared his throat. He looked embarrassed too, though probably for different reasons. "She fell. I tried to help her, but, er..."

"Yes," intoned the Doctor. "Things fall down a lot around you, don't they Harry?"

"Maybe he should see a doctor," offered Sarah, trying to keep a straight face.

"Er... a doctor?" asked Harry dubiously.

"Yes?" grinned the Doctor, as if answering.

Sarah started to laugh, and the Doctor joined in. Harry stared at them for a moment, and then shook his head.

"Barmy, the pair of you!" He spied the teapot in the centre of the trolley and gestured towards it hopefully. "Any more left in there, or did your chums finish it off?"

"Oh, I think we can do better than that..." He held up the kettle. "Get some more water, Harry, and we'll rustle up a fresh pot. How does that sound?"

"Sounds good to me," he grinned.

"And me. I'm gasping!" declared Sarah.

Harry moved to enter the TARDIS when the Doctor stopped him, and lowered his head to his conspiratorially.

"Bad news, Harry..." he muttered gravely.

"Bad news? What... those knight fellows?"

"Yes... don't tell Sarah..."

"Trouble?" he whispered urgently. He knew it...

"There will be..." The Doctor slowly produced an empty plate. "They ate all the macaroons... and you know how much Sarah loves a macaroon..."

Harry frowned. "Macaroons!" he muttered disgustedly, and stalked into the TARDIS. The Doctor grinned at Sarah.

"What have you been up to, Doctor?" she asked slowly.

"Oh, nothing really..." he dropped back into his deckchair with a contented look on his face. "Just spreading a little peace and harmony..." He grinned, leaned forward and picked up the cake stand. It was virtually empty. "Never underestimate the power of tea and cakes, Sarah Jane," he intoned.

Sarah slipped into the deckchair beside him. "The peace of cake, you mean?" she giggled.

He thumped her shoulder gently and beamed. "Well put!"

She gave him a sideways glance. "You know, I get the strangest feeling you set this up..."

The Doctor put on his aw shucks look again and picked up his cup and saucer.

"Who, me?" he grinned, and winked.