Art.

The Doctor shrugged his shoulders, squinting at what stood before him.

The brochure stated that it was 'a comment on the futility of war, with a damning message for the heads of the Earth Empire'.

It was a stretch to equate that with the presented sculpture which seemed to be half Cyberman, half Sontaran. Arguably, there was a strong point being made here, and the artist had at least daringly chosen two of the most warlike races the Universe had ever had the misfortune to see, but this was somehow a quite terrible mutation that defeated its own object.

Politely, the Doctor looked at the name of the artist : Stylianos Sjack. Perhaps he could go and visit the artist in his studio..?

***

Peri was sat in the cafe, getting engrossed in her conversation with a three-armed old Klakkan, about the relative merits of using plants and trees to make art, and whether it was enough simply to pull the roots out of the ground. Despite her Earth-centric outlook, Peri was able to hold her own, and the Klakkan, whose name was Jeril, was making a pleasant enough burble.

In fact, when a tall curly-haired man in the polychromatic coat sidled cautiously up, it was a few moments before Peri realised she had company.

"Ah! Doctor! I'd like to introduce you to Jeril, here. Jeril, this is the Doctor, my friend."

The Doctor smiled curtly, shook one of the Klakkan's limbs, then another, before finally turning to Peri. "You seem to be having a good time." His smile was warmer than it had been for Jeril.

"Yeah. I'm sorry I ducked out of the big exhibition, my feet have been hurting. This brandy helped." She made a smile that was a cross between ecstatic pleasure and polite apology.

"Well, perhaps you'd like to stay..."

"Oh, we're off, are we? Never mind." She stood up, tottering slightly, though whether because of the sores on her feet, or the brandy, no-one could be sure. She had a go at shaking the Klakkan's limbs, swooped forward to place a peck on the Klakkan's skin, but the Doctor held her back, and she just nodded instead.

***

As they stood outside the TARDIS, the Doctor informed her that the Klakkan skin can be dermatologically dangerous to humans, which is why shaking their claws was as close as anybody got.

"So, where are we going now? Scrumping for Sontaran apples? Seizing a Cyberman by the tail..?"

"You know, Peri, I see why you don't drink more often." He seemed curt again. "Look, why don't you sit down, I'll get you something for that headache." With that, he walked through the door which connected the console room to the rest of the ship.

"But I don't have a headache," she protested. Then as she sat down, she felt a ten-ton weight drop on her neck, and she slid back.

***

When she woke up, the Doctor was reading from a large book that had been made for technical reasons, rather than practicality of reading.

"Hello again. Feeling better?"

She didn't remember feeling unwell, so found this an odd question. But she was right as rain now, so she just nodded. Slowly.

"Good. We're going to Slurte, as I want to make a cultural gesture." Then he closed the book, and gave her a big beaming smile.

She frowned slightly, but stood, and walked off to find some fresh clothes. A quick shower wouldn't go amiss, either...

***

Sjack was tearing his hair out. Which was a waste of having it implanted in the first place, but then all art was founded on sacrifice.

The bumbling woman who had come from the Earth Central Funding Clique, was studying every wall, every room, for signs that the grant he had been given was worth it, and if they could take it away.

"You say you've had several sales this year?" Her voice was anathema to him as well.

"Yes, to many of the Company Directors. They seem to be the best able to pay, and the most willing."

"So, in the light of the impending recession, your markets look set to dry up. Or will you lower your prices?"

"Recession?"

This produced a sigh so lifeless it would have defuncted a lemming farm. "That's the trouble with you artists, you have no grasp of the way the real world works. I'm surprised you haven't brought the wrath of several enemy powers down on your head with some of these... I mean, a Rutan skin covering the head of a Draconian! That's practically an act of war itself, and suicide into the deal!"

Sjack needed this conversation like he needed an amputated neck. "Will you make your final recommendation today, or will you require another visit?"

This brought her back into the room, and the look of her induced nausea in him. "I suspect I have seen quite enough, Mr Sjack. Don't expect good news."

***

As she walked down the steps, she passed a couple walking up. They seemed odd - humanoids, dressed in garish colours, and talking in the stilted way that humans tended to. Sjack was probably entertaining guests. Well, he wouldn't be doing it on Clique money.

***

The knock at the door nearly caused Sjack to ram a sculpting knife into his arm. Instead, he held it in his hand, and he slowly walked to the door, flinging it open, and holding the knife forward.

"You must be Stylianos Sjack," said a tall man he had never seen in his life before. He was wearing a coat of many colours, which seemed somewhat religious to Sjack, but that could be a good thing.

The tall man stood alongside, or perhaps slightly in front of, a slender woman wearing a less colourful, but still brash dress. She smiled at him, and seemed rather friendly.

"I am, yes. Who might you be?" He relaxed his arm, and the knife became less dramatic.

"You can call me Doctor. This is Miss Peri Brown."

"Charmed... I'm sure. What brings you to my outpost, Doctor?"

"Well, we've come from the Belugusta Museum, where your exhibition is running, and I wanted to come and meet the man behind the art."

Sjack looked at them closely. He considered. Then he tossed the knife over his shoulder, and rushed forward to embrace people he felt he could now consider to be friends.

The Doctor took his hug in good grace, reciprocating as if this was someone he had known and loved all his life.

Peri was less thrilled, but played along, and Sjack soon seemed less clingy.

"Are you artists?" asked Sjack.

Peri shook her head, and was bemused when the Doctor replied "I dabble. Painting, sometimes, occasional writing. Nothing as impressive as you, though."

"Well, I can make time for artists! I'm sorry I was so abrupt before, but I've just had an unpleasant visitor."

"That woman we passed on the stairs?" Peri had picked up the connection. "She didn't seem too pleased."

"A philistine! Art is always appreciated, but bureaucrats never are!"

"She's not thinking of taking your funding..?"

The question was almost in mock alarm, but seemed sincere enough for Sjack. "The Funding Clique... pah!" And he spat at the floor, to Peri's disgust. "They have been ruining the sensibilities for the last decade, and they wouldn't know one end of a paintbrush from another. All the art they care about is the art of keeping money from the people who deserve it!"

At this, the Doctor and Peri looked at each other, then at the works they could see around the studio.

"Yes, this is what I wanted to talk to you about," started the Doctor, aware of the delicate line he would have to tread. "I wondered whether you had considered a change of direction..?"

"What do you mean?" He put emphasis on 'what' as if it was a word he was ashamed of, somehow.

"Well, it seems to me that the Funding Clique are being unreasonable because they do not understand your work."

"That much is clear crystal!"

"So, why not try something a little different? But something that they think is suitable to them."

"Art cannot be compromised, Doctor, how can you change something without destroying it?"

"But that's the secret, Stylianos. You don't compromise!"

Peri saw that Sjack was softening. Whatever the Doctor had up his sleeve, he was dealing with it well, for a change.

"The funders don't understand art, am I right? So, if you present something that is art as you know, but which appears to be art to the funders, then you will win. They will think you have suddenly improved, whereas you are merely fulfilling your own artistic direction! You get your money, and you don't compromise. Then, when the market changes, and your original style becomes desirable, then you can return to your earlier work, and make it seem as if this is what you were doing all along!"

Sjack sat down, because he was trying to get his head around the Doctor's game. "So, I appear to be towing the line-"

"-but you are actually leading them all the time! Subversion, disguised as submission!"

The artist stood up again. "Doctor, that is brilliant! I could come back to the sculpture later, you think?"

"Definitely. Plus, the warlike atmosphere around the galaxy will eventually recede, and your works will come to be seen as pioneering. You will be lauded in your lifetime, and remembered long after."

This, Peri found strange. The Doctor was usually hyper about keeping history under wraps, and to start giving reassurances, even on such a small scale, seemed to be playing fast and loose. But she had better keep quiet until they were out of reach of Sjack and his knives.

"So, what else could I do, instead of my sculptures?"

"Well, you know, Stylianos... I think you've got something here." The Doctor had cleared away a pile of brushes and folios, pulling a framed picture free. He held it up dramatically. This was the crux of his argument.

"My painting of the Draconian Ambassador to Tawlaz?"

"Ah, but imagine what it could be, Stylianos... your backgrounds are exemplary, and if you were to paint, say, a series of images of brave soldiers, then you could make a profit selling them to patriots, and appear to be endorsing the people who pay the Funding Clique! They couldn't touch you if you appealed to their superiors. Then, when the time is right, you merely state that you were compromised, and forced to do this... then you hit them with what your art really wants to say!"

Sjack took the painting, which the Doctor freely offered, and stared at it, although he wasn't really looking at it now. "Yes... yes, I see! There are so many ideas for this..."

"And the beauty of it is... your audiences will appreciate your message a lot faster this way... more of a steel fist in a velvet gauntlet, than a velvet fist in a steel gauntlet."

"Doctor... truly your plan... is a work of art." The smile was a full-beam, and Sjack embraced his new-found friend. As they hugged, Sjack looked down at Peri, but she found his expression seemed to be mutating as he did so. Whatever he was thinking, it seemed to make him even happier.

"Well, Sjack, it has been a honour and a privilege to meet you." The Doctor shook his hand, but not too firmly. "I look forward to seeing your next exhibition."

"I must thank you again, Doctor... and your friend. I hope I can find time to see your work some day."

"Oh, I wouldn't rush. Art is best kept pure from adulteration of imagination. Come on, Peri."

Peri shook Sjack's hand, but she didn't take to his touch, and followed the Doctor with no regret.

The door closed, Sjack turned to a cupboard, where his paint stocks, and implements were lying idle. Yes! He would start straight away!

***

Peri stood by the TARDIS, hoping she didn't cast any more dodgy a picture. She watched the Doctor speaking at length into a public telephone for several minutes, and when he opened the door, he was smiling.

Inside, she decided to ask what he was playing at, giving Sjack the details of his own future.

The Doctor set the TARDIS into flight, then picked up the heavy book he had been reading before. He showed her the cover, first.

"The Complete And Total History Of Art. One of the rarer Gallifreyan volumes. It covers absolutely every single major artist who ever lived. When I decided to look Sjack up in that museum, I could only find his name recorded in that book."

Peri tried to turn the pages, but they were heavy, and it seemed to be stuck open at G, anyway.

"Of course, simply naming the greatest artists would be a bit dull, even for my race. So, they include a pretty comprehensive autobiography."

Something suddenly clicked in Peri's mind. She could see where this was going...

"So, imagine my surprise when I read that Sjack's career was under threat until he mysteriously changed direction... a change of direction he was coy about, but did leave one rather colossal clue."

"It doesn't show his work here."

"No. Fortunately, it is a small matter for the TARDIS to show you a typical example of the range he put into effect after he turned away from sculptures of war."

The picture appeared on the scanner screen. The background would have seemed bland and unremarkable, were it not for the fact that she had just seen similar in Sjack's room.

But it was the central figure in the picture that caught her eye.

"Doctor?" She pointed at the picture, her mouth agape.

He smiled a little sheepishly. "Yes, Peri, I'm afraid I have to say Sjack made his reputation with a series of inspirational paintings... which all featured your face."

She didn't know how to react. "Should I be... flattered?"

"Well, it could have been worse..." He struck a suggestive pose to illustrate.

Her eyes widened still further, but when the Doctor kept posing, she burst out laughing.