1998. Virgin Megastore. New York City.
Sarah Jane Smith sat behind the table with a bemused expression on her face. She stared at the line of people who had gathered to meet her, get a few seconds of face time and get the latest John Smith novel signed by their successful creator. There were at least 100 people, many wearing long scarves, others in velvet jackets and capes. Some of the women had dressed in "Andy Pandy" overalls and long black wigs, in imitation of Janet, the earthling who accompanied the universal traveller in his never ending quest to do right in time and space.
The latest novel, entitled King Nothing, was to be the last in the series, though Sarah hadn't made any announcement to this fact. Nor had she made a decision about letting the BBC turn her latest novel into a serial like the others. She was only thinking about the fanboys and fangirls who wanted to meet the nice British woman with the fabulous imagination.
An aide tapped Sarah on the shoulder and gave a two-minute warning. She took one look at the poster-sized blow-up of the cover, depicting the faces of John Smith, Janet, and a blue crystal woman, smiled and allowed herself a minute with her thoughts.
***
It all began with Linx the Sontaran, a memoir of her first adventure with the Doctor. She wrote it after the Doctor had finally dropped her off in South Croydon -- albeit on the wrong side of town and a year earlier than expected.
Anyway, Sarah had hoped that writing about her adventures with the Doctor would help clean out her mind. Her first year back in her own time zone had been brutal. The nights had been long, sleepless, filled with a myriad of images from her adventures -- the most terrifying ones at that.
She rang up Mike Yates one day, just wanting to talk to someone who had similar experiences. They met for lunch and reminisced about old times. During their conversation, Mike made the suggestion that Sarah should write down her adventures with the Doctor.
"Really, Sarah. It was a big help."
"Come off it, Mike."
"Trust me. After the whole thing with the spiders, I started seeing a therapist, who suggested it."
"And?"
"And, well, it was like being able to drain out all the unnecessary memories out of my mind."
Sarah took Mike's suggestion to heart and sat down that night and wrote what was to become Linx in a week. She left the manuscript on her desk feeling better and finally getting some dreamless sleep.
Her agent came over to her house one afternoon to go over a feature for Q magazine and found Linx, read it in a few hours and told Sarah he wanted to shop it around. Sarah thought he was a bit daft, but after getting a few offers from respectable publishing houses, she changed her mind.
Sarah always wondered whether her old friend knew about the stories. During the reunion on his home planet, where she met her old Doctor, as well as his past and future, she never heard one word about her novels (six at that point). She assumed that since the Doctor hopped all over the universe, he didn't have time to dabble in fiction...
***
Sarah felt her aide tap her again, which meant it was time to greet the fans. The aide made a brief announcement regarding the rules of the signing. The first people were a young mother and daughter, aged around ten; the little girl in striped overalls.
"Hi," Sarah said, "how are you?"
"I'm fine," shouted the girl.
"What's your name?" Sarah asked, taking the book from her.
"Janet," she replied, softly. Her mother placed a hand on her shoulder and smiled.
"Thank you for buying my book, Janet. I hope you enjoy it."
Sarah and Janet shook hands.
"Between you and J.K. Rowling, kids are reading again, which is great," Janet's mother said.
"That's the best thing I've heard in a long time," Sarah replied.
***
"Have you started writing the next novel, Miss Smith?"
"Well, this one's just come out, so it would be hard to say." Sarah smiled and shook the fanboy's hand. He was decked out in a red velvet jacket and white wig. I wouldn't be surprised if that one had a car like Bessie or the Whomobile, Sarah thought.
The fanboy took his book and moved on, babbling praises as he left the table. Sarah thought that one was relatively harmless. She had to bite her tongue earlier when she heard two fanboys - one with scarf and curly brown hair, the other wearing a cape and black velvet jacket - have a lengthy argument over the Blinovich Limitation Effect, and what exactly it meant. Sarah had to take a drink of water to calm herself when the two "John Smiths" nearly came to blows. Finally, the bickering obsessives made their way to the author's table, moving onto another topic of discussion and had their books signed.
"Miss Smith, you are and excellent writer," said the caped John Smith Fanboy. "I do have a question, though."
"Go ahead," Sarah replied, fully aware of what was to come.
"Could you tell us what the Blinovich Limitation Effect really is? I say it doesn't allow people to meet their past selves, but my friend," pointing to the scarf wearing Smith, "claims that it causes huge disruptions in the timestream."
Sarah paused. The only reason she stuck it in was she heard the Doctor talk about it during the Dinosaur Invasion crisis in London, and it sounded very official and scientific.
"Miss Smith," the scarf wearing fanboy said, "pay no attention to my friend. He's such a fanboy."
"Talk about the pot calling the kettle black," the other fired back. "This from the man who still has posters of Elisabeth Sladen on his wall in her Janet costumes hanging up in your bedroom."
"Hey, do I need to remind you of the three hundred different Daleks you have-"
"Excuse me, please move along," the aide said, "There are other people who'd like to get their books signed."
The two fanboys moved on, still arguing. Sarah chuckled, amazed and amused by the side affects of her novels.
***
The two hours went quickly. Sarah felt drained by the whole experience. She enjoyed her readers, but the fanboys could be taxing on the nerves. There was one person left, a young woman with shoulder length black hair and dressed in eighties fashion.
"Hello, Miss Smith." She was American, like everyone else in line. Thankfully she didn't try to fake an English accent like the fanboys did.
"Hi." Sarah took the copy of King Nothing. "What's your name?"
"Perpugilliam Brown. Peri for short." Peri gave Sarah a knowing look. Sarah signed Peri's copy and handed it back.
"I hope you enjoy this, Peri."
"I will, Miss Smith," Peri replied. The young woman leaned forward and said in a lower tone, "I think you and I have a mutual friend."
Sarah raised an eyebrow. "A mutual friend."
"Travels in a Police Box, horrid taste in clothes," Peri said, earnestly.
Sarah smiled. "Sounds like him. Tell you what, I'm staying at the Marriott, just a few blocks away. Meet me in the lounge at six."
Peri smiled. "Six. I'll be there."
***
Sarah walked into the lounge at the Marriott and settled into a booth in the corner. She ordered a glass of red wine, and waited the arrival of the young American. She made the assumption that Peri must be a future travelling companion, which means she might get to meet a new version of her old friend.
Peri walked into the lounge and spotted Sarah in her booth. Sarah felt a pang of disappointment that the young woman was alone.
"Hello, Miss Brown," Sarah said. They shook hands as if they were old friends.
"It's Peri, Miss Smith."
"Please, call me Sarah."
Peri ordered a white wine spritzer from the waitress. Sarah asked for a menu.
"So," Sarah asked, are you still travelling with him?"
"The Doctor? Yes. He said he was here to visit an old friend and told me to have some fun in New York."
"Didn't want you tagging along?" Sarah asked.
"He was babbling about chess. Mentioned he was going to beat him badly this time," Peri replied, her lack of enthusiasm coming through.
"Must be Bobby Fischer. There's a man just as eccentric as the Doctor." Sarah took a sip of wine. "What's yours like?"
"Well," Peri said taking her spritzer from the waitress. "I met him on Lanzarote, along with a young man named Turlough. We ended up on a planet called Sarn, and met the Master-"
"Not a very nice man," Sarah interjected.
"Absolutely. Anyway I really liked the Doctor then. Thin, blond hair, young and energetic, sweet. He was a know-it-all, but in a fun way."
Sarah had met him of Gallifrey, during the reunion. She wished she had more time to chat him up at the time.
"Then he regenerated. Turned into this obnoxious blowhard. A beefy gourmand who loves to yell and argue. Tall, curly blond hair, and the ugliest jacket you've ever seen, a whole bunch of patterns slapped together."
Sarah smiled. "You still like him, don't you?"
"Yes. And I know he really likes me, despite all the fights we get into."
"Is he still-"
"Married to his ego? Most definitely."
"So, have you read any of my books?"
"All except King Nothing."
Sarah eyes grew wide.
"He has them all, in the TARDIS library. I think we came here just so I could get this one for him," Peri said.
"It's the last one, you know."
"You left him after that adventure?"
"He was going back to Gallifrey to deal with some crisis back there."
Sarah and Peri chatted for a while, recalling adventures and comparing notes. Both were in agreement that even though the Daleks were horrid, the Sontarans were the worst alien race they encountered.
The waitress brought the bill. Peri reached into her pocket to pay her share, but Sarah waived her off. "I'm on an expense account."
"So, are you in New York for a while, Sarah?" Peri asked.
"I'm going back to London in a few days. More signings for the fanboys."
"Sounds like fun. God knows where we'll end up next?"
"Perpugilliam Brown, are you in here?" a loud voice bellowed.
The two women turned around the see the Doctor, Peri's Doctor, standing by the door of the lounge in all his glory.
"Over here, you loudmouth!" Peri snapped.
The Doctor strode over like he owned the place. He was about to chastise Peri for her comment when he spotted Sarah.
"Sarah Jane Smith. It's been a long, Long, LONG time!" The Doctor gave Sarah a huge bear hug, then kissed her on both cheeks.
"Hello again, Doctor. How are you?"
"Excellent. I finally beat Bobby Fischer," he announced.
Peri looked at Sarah, puzzled. Sarah whispered that he was a grand champion chess player.
"I see you've become very successful with your writing career, Sarah Jane," the Doctor said, calmly. He took a seat in the booth, waving for the two women to join him. "But, John Smith, the Universal Traveller? You could have come up with something more grand, couldn't you?"
"Like Fatboy Ego?" Peri retorted.
The Doctor looked at Peri with a scrunched up face and stuck out his tongue. Peri did the same in return.
"Now Sarah Jane, I would have used something like Prospero, Time's Champion. It's much more majestic."
Sarah smiled. "It also plays to your vanity."
"Nonsense," the Doctor thundered. He saw the looks on the faces of Sarah and Peri. "All right, I admit it does!"
The Doctor commandeered a waitress and ordered tea for the table, then promptly got into an argument with Peri over some historical fact. Sarah listened to the bickering couple and flashed back to her travels with her Doctor. The argument ended when the tea arrived at the table.
"By the way, Sarah Jane. I wanted to tell you that I've enjoyed the books, and I'm looking forward to the latest one."
"You're not concerned about trade secrets?" Sarah asked.
"No. Humans have a great gift for self-delusion." The Doctor sipped his tea, proud of his old friend. He still missed Sarah Jane; she was still his best friend, and favourite travelling companion.
"By the way, Doctor," Sarah said, a serious look on her face, "I have a question for you."
"Go ahead, Sarah Jane."
"What exactly is the Blinovich Limitation Effect?"
The Doctor put down his teacup. "The fanboys would like to know the answer, wouldn't they?"
Sarah nearly spit out her mouthful of tea. "How did you know that?"
"I do get around a bit. Besides, it's one of the great topics of discussion on various John Smith websites," the Doctor admitted, matter-of-factly.
Peri and Sarah looked at each other, then stared at the Doctor.
"All right," the Doctor said, his cheeks turning pink, "I confess, I'm a fanboy myself."
Peri and Sarah both convulsed with laughter.
"Oh shut up," the Doctor snapped, but soon joined in the laughter of his friends.
