There are many things a surgeon has to consider when treating a patient, but the one that used to obsess me was: does the patient deserve this surgery? I used to try and judge patients on what they had done, selecting victims over criminals. Everyone used to do it, I guess it was so we could feel good about ourselves. Along the way I became used to this morality but I never forgot the patients I had lost. In the pit of my soul I knew that I should have done more but I convinced myself somehow that they deserved to die for their sins. I wanted to hold back death and when I failed I took it hard. I guess that’s who I was at the time but I knew excuses weren’t enough to cover up my failures.
Things began to change when I met the Doctor again. I travelled with him for several happy years and we had encountered any number of problems along the way. Some seemed to solve themselves naturally while others we barely managed to escape from with our lives. Of course when I first met him I accidentally killed him but he told me that I was forgiven.
The first time he asked I had refused, I was afraid I guess but several years later he had returned and asked me for my help. This time I had agreed and I discovered more about myself and who I was than I thought there was to possibly know.
I encountered many different races and cultures. I had made many friends and unfortunately several enemies along the way but I guess that’s the way things go.
One day we were attacked by a Rutan. We managed to trick it with a simple trap but it was badly wounded. To my shame I wanted to kill it. I was scared it would try to take us with it but the Doctor managed to revive it and it actually thanked us. I asked him why he had saved some one who had been trying to kill us. He just smiled his sweetest smile and said that it was who he was.
Eventually of course we went our separate ways and I returned back home but somehow a more complete person. Now I was the one who could hold back death, it was no longer a dream, but a reality. I don’t turn anyone away from my clinic, if I can help them I will or refer them to a specialist who can help them. Perhaps I am saving a mugger or a thief or worse but I don’t turn my back on those in need; it’s who I am.
